What's Eating Jdavies?

and other marketing stories

Urban Legends about Kerry and Bush

Digg!

When November comes the world will be at a crossroads - two men, two very different policies. Parallel worlds and alternate realities are never going to be any more real than when America decides who their next president will be. At the periphery of course are billions of people anxiously waiting what will happen to their nations and their lives. The Philippines will not be exempt, in fact I am thinking GMA ultimately desires a Kerry victory. That way, reforging the US-Philippine ties will take less effort, as it will be the theme of the Democrats should they regain power in the White House.

Anyways, going down to business - I have here Urban Legends links about Kerry and Bush - not that you need to decide, coz we all know which one is a madman. More so because we, the people in the periphery of America will know what to expect: (or maybe just for the fun of it anyways)

Below is the hotly circulated resume of George W. Bush: (Snopes says some are fact, some are unverified) but one blogger has some links that may help. This one here compiled a list of links all over the web so that you can verify them on your own. If you are closely following world news and affairs, some will not surprise you - for sure you can say they are true. Still, in fairness to the man, some are exaggerations, or will need to be verified, but most will have some truth in it. Here you go - for your intellectual euphoria:

GEORGE W. BUSH's RESUME

The White House, USA
* ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT:

  • I attacked and took over two countries.
  • I spent the U.S. surplus and bankrupted the Treasury.
  • I shattered the record for biggest annual deficit in history.
  • I set an economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12-month period.
  • I set all-time record for biggest drop in the history of the stock market.
  • I am the first president in decades to execute a federal prisoner.
  • I am the first president in US history to enter office with a criminal
    record.
  • In my first year in office I set the all-time record for most days on
    vacation by any president in US history.
  • After taking the entire month of August off for vacation, I presided
    over the worst security failure in US history.
  • I set the record for most campaign fund raising trips by any president in US history.
  • In my first two years in office over 2 million Americans lost their job.
  • I cut unemployment benefits for more out-of-work Americans than any other president in US history.
  • I set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period.
  • I appointed more convicted criminals to administration positions than any president in US history.
  • I set the record for the fewest press conferences of any president since the advent of TV.
  • I signed more laws and executive orders amending the Constitution than any other president in US history.
  • I presided over the biggest energy crises in US history and refused to
    intervene when corruption was revealed.
  • I presided over the highest gasoline prices in US history and refused to use the national reserves as past presidents have.
  • I cut health care benefits for war veterans.
  • I set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously take to the streets to protest me (15 million people), shattering the record for protest against any person in the history of mankind.
  • I dissolved more international treaties than any president in US
    history.
  • I've made my presidency the most secretive and unaccountable of any in US history.
  • Members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in US
    history. (The 'poorest' multimillionaire, Condoleeza Rice, has a Chevron oil tanker named after her).
  • I am the first president in US history to have all 50 states of the
    Union simultaneously go bankrupt.
  • I presided over the biggest corporate stock market fraud in any market in any country in the history of the world.
  • I am the first president in US history to order a US attack and military occupation of a sovereign nation, and I did so against the will of the United Nations and the world community.
  • I have created the largest government department bureaucracy in the history of the United States.
  • I set the all-time record for biggest annual budget spending increases, more than any other president in US history.
  • I am the first president in US history to have the United Nations remove the US from the Human Rights Commission.
  • I am the first president in US history to have the United Nations remove the US from the Elections Monitoring Board.
  • I removed more checks and balances, and have the least amount of
    congressional oversight than any presidential administration in US history.
  • I rendered the entire United Nations irrelevant.
  • I withdrew from the World Court of Law.
  • I refused to allow inspectors access to US prisoners of war and by default no longer abide by the Geneva Conventions.
  • I am the first president in US history to refuse United Nations election inspectors access during the 2002 US elections.
  • I am the all-time US (and world) record holder for most corporate
    campaign donations.
  • The biggest lifetime contributor to my campaign, who is also one of my best friends, presided over one of the largest corporate bankruptcy frauds in world history (Kenneth Lay, former CEO of Enron Corporation).
  • I spent more money on polls and focus groups than any president in US history.
  • I am the first president to run and hide when the US came under attack (and then lied, saying the enemy had the code to Air Force 1)
  • I am the first US president to establish a secret shadow
    government.
  • I took the world's sympathy for the US after 911, and in less than a year made the US the most resented country in the world (possibly the biggest diplomatic failure in US and world history).
  • I am the first US president in history to have a majority of the people of Europe (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and stability.
  • I am the first US president in history to have the people of South Korea more threatened by the US than by their immediate neighbor, North Korea.
  • I changed US policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded government contracts.
  • I set the all-time record for number of administration appointees who
    violated US law by not selling their huge investments in corporations bidding for gov't contracts.
  • I have removed more freedoms and civil liberties for Americans than any other president in US history. In a little over two years I have created the most divided country in decades, possibly the most divided that the US has been since the civil war.
  • I entered office with the strongest economy in US history and in less than two years turned every single economic category heading straight down.

RECORDS AND REFERENCES:

  • I have at least one conviction for drunk driving in Maine (Texas
    driving record has been erased and is not available).
  • I was AWOL from the National Guard and deserted the military during a time of war.
  • I refuse to take a drug test or even answer any questions about drug
    use.
  • All records of my tenure as governor of Texas have been spirited away to my fatherĀ¹s library, sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.
  • All records of any SEC investigations into my insider trading or bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.
  • All minutes of meetings of any public corporation for which I served on the board are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.
  • Any records or minutes from meetings I (or my VP) attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public review.

PERSONAL REFERENCES:

  • For personal references, please speak to my dad or uncle James Baker (They can be reached in their offices at the Carlyle Group where they are helping to divide up the spoils of the US-Iraq war and plan for the next one.)

Labels: , ,

posted by Jdavies @ 8/09/2004,

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

<< Home


The Author

J.Davies

Jdavies lives in Quezon City, Philippines and has been blogging since 2002. A brand manager in a leading technology company and a freelance new media/web strategy consultant, he has refocused his blogging from personal, political & sociological observations, to marketing-related efforts and Internet trends that are relevant to his career and branding advocacies.


About This Blog

This blog is a depot of thoughts and observations on marketing trends which remain personally relevant to the Author as far as his marketing career is concerned. Having evolved from the personal blog of Jdavies, much of the earlier work contained herein are laced with personal speculation, political views, and similar advocacies. These posts are being kept for posterity's sake and for no other reason. No effort is being made to claim that the author will not contradict himself from his previous positions or that such advocacies are absolute.

Contact

Request access to my Linked-in Profile


Web This Blog

Email me whenever the site is updated:

Delivered by FeedBurner

Recent Posts

Links

Archives

Powered By

Powered by Blogger
make money online blogger templates